‘Nothing is forever anymore’-Sarah Jarosz

I was lucky to grow up in Lake Arrowhead, California-a tiny mountain town about an hour from Los Angeles. Growing up, it felt suffocating because the bright lights of LA were so close and we were so small but, upon reflection, I am grateful for my childhood there. I still talk to friends I grew up with (and their parents), have a scar on my shin from where I didn’t quite make the leap over a retaining wall during tag, and, where on a cold day in March, my world fell apart.

Lake Arrowhead will always be home because it is where we were a complete family. It is where nearly every memory I have with my mom is rooted. Where a young life became a before and after. Where a family of three emerged into a wake of loss and grief to eventually find their footing into a most beautiful life.

When I decided to do my winter road trip to California, Lake Arrowhead was a must. I have been several time since we moved when I was in high school but this trip was really emotional for me and not sure why. As I was driving up my mountain, the roads as familiar now as they were then, Sarah Jarosz’s ‘Take Me Back’ came on my Spotify. It is one of my favorites, a simple song about loss and love. And I burst into tears. They didn’t stop. Things I hadn’t thought about in a long time came flooding back.

There are several turnouts and I remember the exact one my mom pulled into to check out the valley below when we moved there. When I went, nearly 40 years later, the sun was setting over the horizon like it was just for me. I remember sitting there as a kid, terrified of heights, not knowing what was to be and how much this place would mean to me. Today, I do. I long for the childhood I had and the one I should have. The community who still rallies around me when I need them.

So this post isn’t so much about my three days in the place that created me but more so what this tiny town, that has become popular with Bravolebrities, has meant to me. So if you’re ever in the area, please go. Take in the mountain air. Feed the ducks. See where Shirley Temple explored ‘The Alps’ in Heidi. Know that while it is the definition of a tourist town, there is community there that deeply cares about each other long after you leave home. And be sure to get a Cactus Cooler, it’s the best.