‘Shoot for the moon, even if you fail, you’ll land among the stars’-Cecelia Ahern
I have officially been in Bend (and my apartment) for six months. What a whirlwind it has been! It started a bit rocky, seemed to get better, fell apart around my birthday and into the holidays, and I am now starting to feel like myself again. Therapy has helped with this but I have put in a lot of work and grown as a person the last six months, much more than I could have anticipated even three months ago.
The winter has been rocky. I had to deal with something difficult and had to do it in a new town where I have few friends. I have an amazing support system and thank god for my tribe but not being able to grab a coffee with friends when dealing with this situation was really tough. But I did it! I’m not fully there but things are getting better.
I was walking downtown the other day. The sun was shining, it was warm, and I just wandered for a bit. It was the first time since September where I thought this might just work. I had turned a corner. I owe a lot to the restaurant job that I got for extra travel funds and to get out of the house. It has become so much more than that. They have been life savers. I have met some of the best people who have made me feel at home. I have been invited to stay after for a beer or asked how school/my day is going. I actually look forward to my shifts, even if I’m scheduled to bus tables. God or the fates or whomever knew what they were doing when they guided me to this place. I also have a really badass history class this term and that has added to the overall joy I have been feeling. My dad always wanted B and I to love our jobs and I really, truly do!
My counselor told me that as spring is coming and the winter was so dark (literally and figuratively), it really is like a rebirth. Leaving all the draining energy in the past and basking in the journey ahead. This seems to be much easier to say than do but it is a goal-living furiously happy even when it’s hard. I have been listening to Miranda Lambert’s new song, ‘Bluebird,’ on repeat. It echos what this new season means: ‘And if the whole world stops singing/And all the stars go dark/I turn the light on in my soul/And keep a bluebird in my heart.’
Moving to Bend was a massive leap of faith. As the days get longer, I am ready to experience all the area has to offer. If these photos are any indication of what is in store, I’m in for a beautiful ride. I cannot wait to spend time in nature and living furiously!
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